By DAVID EMANUEL Staff Writer

Did you hear?

Bowie Community Theater is honoring playwright Neil Simon by celebrating with a year of four productions all penned by the man director Estelle Miller calls "without question, America's premier comic playwright."

In fact, BCT dedicated its production of "Rumors" to Simon, and congratulates him for being awarded the Kennedy Center's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

Other upcoming Simon shows include "Proposals," and the naughty comedy "Not Now Darling," which is sure to be the talk of the town this winter as it features scantily-clad young ladies, according to Janice Coffey, BCT president. The summer show, which is scheduled to be produced "pending theater renovations," will be a "good old-fashioned murder mystery" called "Who Dunnit?"

Season subscriptions will be available only during this production, and Coffey said BCT is seeking individuals to join the BCT board.

"If you have always wanted to run away and join the theater, we have a place for you," she said.

And speaking of running away, if you want to "sit back, relax and forget the day's baggage," as Miller said, then "Rumors" is most definitely the play for you.

The show builds and builds to the point of absurdity - throwing in everything from Adolf Hitler to Q-tips to dachshunds to shaving cream, in the story of four wealthy "aristocratic" couples who are visiting the home of their friends (whom we never see), New York City Deputy Mayor Charley Brock and his wife Myra, to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary.

The entire show takes place in the Brock's living room, as the couples try to come up with a story as to what happened to their friends, keeping some secrets from some of the couples, while everyone tries to keep up with who knows what about what's going on.

And then when the cops arrive?

Let's just say "insanity" doesn't even describe the half of what happens.

It is clear that the cast had a blast performing together, as they all played off of each other pretty much perfectly. (In the director's notes, Miller even mentions that she and the cast "had many hours of smiles and laughter during the rehearsals.")

Joanne Bauer and Ray Fulton play Chris and Ken Gorman, with Michele Hitchcock and James McDaniel as Claire and Lenny Ganz. Rich Hall and Sharon Zelefsky are Ernie and Cookie Cusack, with Michael Rogers and Jodie Calvert as Glenn and Cassie Cooper.

Adrienne Brown plays Officer Welch with as much seriousness as she can muster, and Lucas English plays her sidekick, Officer Pudney.

Now let's see here: Without giving too much away, the Gormans arrive at the Brocks' home where they find Charley in an upstairs bedroom bleeding from a gunshot wound to the ear and Myra nowhere to be found.

Bauer and Fulton, who were scene-stealers in the recent BCT southern comedy "Dearly Departed," are in their element once again. This time, they are desperately conspiring, albeit totally unsuccessfully, to keep the mystery from the other arriving couples.

Special mention must go to the two who played the Ganzes - McDaniel's show-stopping eight-minute scene where he completely "improvises" the "what happened" moment to the cops. His wife Claire had the essence of comedic timing down to an artful science, delivering her barbs with perfection.

Zelefsky gave Cookie the right amount of kookiness, and Calvert takes vanity to new levels in her amazing performance as Cassie Cooper.

Note: There is much cursing during this show. I would have to "rate" it a PG-13, even an R in some parts.

But "Rumors" R could also stand for Ridiculous, Rollicking, and occasionally UpRoarious.

OK, that last one is a stretch, but so is much of this show.